Time flies and only now I’ve realized how inconsistent I’ve been with the idea of writing the blog. Sure, I’ve mentioned it in the very beginning that this might be the case, but man, I’m worst than I thought I’d be. However, this time I can say that it was not that much about my lack of commitment to writing here as it was my actual very frequent absence from my home and bunch of activities I got myself into. Finally, I’m using some free time to give you some update on…well, myself. Even though I have whole bunch of pics of places I’ve visited until now, this time i’ll keep it more personal. This is where the title of this entry comes from.
I’ve been here for five months now and I have managed to do two (for me) big things by now:
1) I finally got my residence card, so for at least some time, I’ll be staying away from all different administrative institutions. Very important yet boring fact, so no more talking about this. But worth sharing with someone. Being an immigrant’s not easy at all.
2) I’ve had some quality time with myself contemplating and rethinking my life here through various pleasant and unpleasant events, experiences and places I’ve seen. And all this has changed me in a certain way, and I can only hope the change is good.
My slightly pathetic relief
Some of you might know, others I guess not, that the act of moving here was kinda harsh for me, and that in the beginning I felt everything but fine. Now, after having spent enough time here, I can only repeat what I have said before: this is not the right place for me to be. However, I have fought my fears and concerns, resentment towards my environment….and I guess i reached the point of accepting my current situation and trying to get the best of it. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate every experience, and here that’s the only thing I haven’t lacked for sure. I’m aware of the fact that not many people have an opportunity to do the same, and that being here has changed me for sure: things you can’t see in the developed world, completely different mentality and culture and finally all those little things that you might have taken for granted before, but once you start living without them they gain so much importance in your life.
Why Marija, why?!!
Having said that, I’d like to continue with pointing out how much I learnt both about myself and about others. I used to think I was very adaptable and flexible person – you name it, i could face it with no major problems. I still think I am like that, it’s only that now I know that I prefer certain circumstances better than others. I definitely like some cultures more than others. And for sure I like certain types of people or cultural habits more than others. Without judging anyone for what they are…I just know myself way better now.
I’ve figured out that foreigners either love or hate Peru. I’m definitely not among the first ones, but I’m trying not to be among the other ones either. Trying. Not sure yet I’m doing that well. Many would say that I’m not actually. Oh well…not getting into that topic right know. I’m sure that each and every one of us felt like this at some point as well.
My humble point of view
Peru is one of the geographically most diverse countries in the world or at least that’s what people say. Coast, desert, high mountains, jungle and everything in between. And when we come to culture and social issues there are different languages tribes, physically very diverse people, incredible habits and customs, vast choice of pretty amazing variety of food, extreme dedication to religion and last but not least impressive yet worrying economic differences and all consequences that emerge as a result of that. For one European, even from an underdeveloped country like myself, facing that is mind-blowing and overwhelming. And for someone who truly believes in social justice and equality of opportunities seeing all that is devastating as well. Without intentions of getting into further analysis or details, I’ll only point out that this big differences influence general cultural and educational level in the country, form your values and morale and finally create one general image of what one country really is. I guess this is the main reason why I don’t feel too comfortable here. Culturally, I’m simply very different.
For all you possible visitors of Peru, I’d like to mention one thing that was personally maybe what surprised me most. I guess we all have certain idea in our minds when we say Latin America, and I guess that’s for a reason. Living in Barcelona, I’ve met people from pretty much every South American country, except for Peruvians and Bolivians. Leaving Bolivians aside (I don’t know them, I’m not saying anything about them), I’d like to share my impressions on how little Hispanic or Latin these people here are (with an exception of European descendants maybe, but I’m honestly not sure about that) in comparison to all other Latins I’ve met before. Firstly, I have an impression of society here being highly influenced by Inka culture, which is good for themselves I guess because they preserved their identity, but not for me. Secondly, I feel that mostly bad things of Hispanic culture have been adopted here, which makes me quite sad. The combination of the two makes me say to myself: ” Thank you, but not my cup of tea”. However, no matter how bitter this tea might be, it has taught me a lot of things and opened my eyes.
The sunny side of life
I’ve had some truly difficult times here, and 2012 has been the year of questioning, challenges, meeting and losing people and big changes in general. However, not everything’s been so gloomy, and sometimes I think that my coming here was for a reason. Someone very special to me I’ve met not that long ago has helped me go through all this with ease and has made my stay here meaningful and more beautiful. Apart from showing me amazing places I would never have seen by myself, he’s been my constant support and reason to feel better, stay positive and try to get the best of what I’ve got here. He’s made a big difference in my life and helped me not lose faith even when I was feeling down. Even though we’ve got some time of challenge and patience in front of us, I’m not giving up. No way. And I’m absolutely sure it’s all happened because it was meant to be.
Anyways, the computer geek has just called me to pick up my camera which got dusty and stopped working properly when I went once to an old abandoned Inka graveyard, so I guess I’ll be taking some more pics soon. I’ve got quite a lot of writing material and some quite cool pictures, however it all depends on my free time. I hope I’ll be back soon with some more interesting stories and pictures.
Meanwhile, I just wanted to update you on how I am and what I’ve been up to recently and give you my lame excuse on why I totally neglected this page of mine. Shame on me, for sure! 🙂